Ten Lies About the SCBWI-Oklahoma 2018 Spring Conference

Not many things can get me to blow the dust off this old website and crank out a new post, but the upcoming Oklahoma SCBWI conference is one of those rare exceptions. If you’re a writer or illustrator living anywhere within reasonable driving distance of Oklahoma City, this conference is definitely not the place to be on April 6 and 7. So, without further ado, here are…

    Ten Lies About the 2018 SCBWI-Oklahoma Spring Conference

1. Okies are cold, cold fish. No one will talk to you when you get to the conference, or ask you what you’re working on, or care at all about where you’re from. You will not have a table full of interesting people to sit with at lunch or get to chat with any of our local published writers. Which is a good thing, because those published writers? They’re the worst.

2. The conference organizers never put any work into making the whole day amazing. They basically slack for an entire year, leaving all the tiny details to chance and refusing to build on everything they’ve learned from all the other great conferences SCBWI-OK has held in the past.

3. None of the speakers will be big-time, know-what-they’re-talking-about professionals from prominent publishing houses and impressive agencies. They’re pretty much all second-rate hacks.

4. You won’t be able to take advantage of any seriously incredible opportunities, like getting facetime with the speakers or having one of them critique your full picture book or novel excerpt.

5. There will be no fun stuff, like contests to see who can design the best illustrator postcard or write the best book pitch. It’ll be all business, all day.

6. There won’t be anything useful in the folder you’ll receive at registration. No information on upcoming SCBWI events, handouts from the visiting agents, editors, and art directors, and no tickets for door prize drawings.

7. If you’re a writer, you won’t learn a ton about illustration and art direction (a.k.a the art behind the art). And if you’re an artist, you can totally skip all the parts about story craft and what makes for a compelling read. Trust me. Just hit the bar while all they’re talking about that stuff. You’ll never need it anyway.

8. When you leave at the end of the day, your head won’t be swimming from all the information you’ll have learned. And when you get home, you will not crash on the couch with a big old smile on your face.

9. You will not go to sleep that night thinking about all the connections and friendships you just made with the smart, creative, generous and kind illustrators and writers who live within reasonable driving distance of Oklahoma City.

10. You will not, I repeat, NOT wake up the next morning with fresh inspiration, know-how, and determination to keep drawing, writing, and doing what it takes to get published. After all, it’s not that big a deal to see your work on a bookstore shelf. Nope. Not a biggie at all.

But just in case you don’t believe me and insist on finding out more, all the details you’ll need are up at https://oklahoma.scbwi.org/events/2018-oklahoma-spring-conference/

See you there!